The outing in question....

So we all hop skip and jump with smiles on our faces into the car.... nope we really don't.

We scrabble out the door, amongst sighs and repeating 'get into the car, get into the car. OMG get in the car' we were on our way.

We arrive at the car park. After getting them across the road without anyone hurt (thats a win in my book). We go inside. Then its starts.....

Can we have pizza? Can we go on the bouncing castle? Why is that woman smoking? Oh look there is a platform Ill run to and jump for a laugh? Can we not just have a drink? Can we go bowling? Oh my god, what is that? We reach the entrance.

In we go. Me 'Do not run away! I have 4 of you alone. Do not run away'.

Then it starts..... Can we have something from the gift shop? Why? They have a pic n mix? Mummmmmmmmmyyyyyy why? A cafe, mum they have a cafe. Mummmmmyyyyy there is a cafe. 

We go to a quiet corner, where through gritted teeth, I hiss.....'you are getting nothing. Nothing!It is expensive to come here and you will enjoy it then we will leave. Be grateful. Now lets go upstairs and have fun....do not run away'

Then it starts.....I turn to check the baby.....I turn back. GONE! Everyone of them has run off. I think 'dont panic, its a small room, lots of activities....eventually I gather them up. The baby now wants out. I cant watch all of them. Its very warm'. Eventually I relent and say we will get a drink at the cafe. The excitement in their faces. I think we should have just gone to Tescos cafe. Would have been easier and cheaper.

We go to the lift. 3 groups walk past me into lifts. 3.....not 1....3. I breathe deeply. 'Its fine its only a lift'. The lift comes, I turn to herd them in (yes its like sheep). One is missing. How is one missing? The only lift I get and 1 is missing!! Ok, I found him. In the lift. Down to level 1. I have baby in arms, pushing buggy with a finger. Others are excited by a bottle of juice.

All out of lift. I check them all. I turn a one is screaming in agony in the corner of the lift. I cant understand whats happened. He is stuck. How is he stuck? Omg what do I do? I run back with baby. Other two (7 & 3) are outside said lift. An arm is stuck. How can an arm be stuck? How? I get him out with the mummy techinque (ie wiggle until I can manage to release him). I turn. Lift has left. Left my other two kids and a buggy alone. What seems like 4 hours however I am sure was 3 mins. We return. I cant cope. No one even helped. I am hormonal, upset, scared, angry and worn out. We leave. My poor child didnt even get sympathy for his sore arm until the car park.

The entire way home, my kids get lecture after lecture on behaviour etc. They listened for the first 45 seconds after that, I am white noise......