Friday, 26 February 2016

The outing in question....

So we all hop skip and jump with smiles on our faces into the car.... nope we really don't.

We scrabble out the door, amongst sighs and repeating 'get into the car, get into the car. OMG get in the car' we were on our way.

We arrive at the car park. After getting them across the road without anyone hurt (thats a win in my book). We go inside. Then its starts.....

Can we have pizza? Can we go on the bouncing castle? Why is that woman smoking? Oh look there is a platform Ill run to and jump for a laugh? Can we not just have a drink? Can we go bowling? Oh my god, what is that? We reach the entrance.

In we go. Me 'Do not run away! I have 4 of you alone. Do not run away'.

Then it starts..... Can we have something from the gift shop? Why? They have a pic n mix? Mummmmmmmmmyyyyyy why? A cafe, mum they have a cafe. Mummmmmyyyyy there is a cafe. 

We go to a quiet corner, where through gritted teeth, I hiss.....'you are getting nothing. Nothing!It is expensive to come here and you will enjoy it then we will leave. Be grateful. Now lets go upstairs and have not run away'

Then it starts.....I turn to check the baby.....I turn back. GONE! Everyone of them has run off. I think 'dont panic, its a small room, lots of activities....eventually I gather them up. The baby now wants out. I cant watch all of them. Its very warm'. Eventually I relent and say we will get a drink at the cafe. The excitement in their faces. I think we should have just gone to Tescos cafe. Would have been easier and cheaper.

We go to the lift. 3 groups walk past me into lifts. 3.....not 1....3. I breathe deeply. 'Its fine its only a lift'. The lift comes, I turn to herd them in (yes its like sheep). One is missing. How is one missing? The only lift I get and 1 is missing!! Ok, I found him. In the lift. Down to level 1. I have baby in arms, pushing buggy with a finger. Others are excited by a bottle of juice.

All out of lift. I check them all. I turn a one is screaming in agony in the corner of the lift. I cant understand whats happened. He is stuck. How is he stuck? Omg what do I do? I run back with baby. Other two (7 & 3) are outside said lift. An arm is stuck. How can an arm be stuck? How? I get him out with the mummy techinque (ie wiggle until I can manage to release him). I turn. Lift has left. Left my other two kids and a buggy alone. What seems like 4 hours however I am sure was 3 mins. We return. I cant cope. No one even helped. I am hormonal, upset, scared, angry and worn out. We leave. My poor child didnt even get sympathy for his sore arm until the car park.

The entire way home, my kids get lecture after lecture on behaviour etc. They listened for the first 45 seconds after that, I am white noise......

Friday, 19 February 2016

Preparing for an outing .....

So folks, you know when you get a rare day of a decent (of course by that I mean more than 4 hour uninterrupted), you haven't overindulged the night before and ready to live life.

Half term approached, I knew I had to entertain the kids for a few days and hubby was at work. I thought Ill take them out. Whats the worst that can happen....

I went through all the possibilities to visit.

1. The park...... no too cold for the kids even though they will refuse to wear a coat. Alex is attempting to get out of the buggy all the time as he thinks he is 2. I would freeze to the point of sore nipples and probably end up talking to people I have never met about stuff I never discuss.

2. The museum.... glass, stairs, old things, half term crowds and the dreaded gift shop (I swear if I visit place I should just head straight for the cafe or the gift shop....would end a LOT of arguments)

3. The beach/coast drive....4 kids, me and a small car space....NO!

4. Playcentres? Well I have an issue with them. I mean the stress me out. (seems most things do as I am realising while I write). You see, if we are there and my kids go to play three scenarios happen. Either my kids get hassle from other kid. You follow said kid for a while trying to determine mum/dad to then realise they are at the next table, in which you are having an argument with her in your head about her snotty kid then you annoy yourself before you leave. Then you are annoyed because you said nothing. My kid knocks, pushes or hogs something in which case, having not seen what had happened (although I do keep a good eye on my kids) you are stressing and telling them off while getting evils from the parent who is more than likely sitting at the table beside you. Or last but not least, I was just at the stage where my kids could play and I could sit. Obviously with my phone. Now however I am back to the stage, I have to take my shoes off and go into the baby play area. Now in there are normally two types of mums, first embracing playing with their child, acting, playing, chasing, swapping tips with other mums, maybe pregnant and totally ok with only their socks on (I dont like feet) or like me, mums who dont want to wish the young years away but really doesn't want to pay. Had 7 or more years of playcentres, who wants to keep her high heels on because she has a black and a navy sock on and finally just cant be bothered (which of course feels guilty about). then of course the dreaded cafe!!!! So no the playcentre was out....

5. The science one....I decided although expensive, they had something for all ages....Alex was in a buggy, there was plenty of sound and lights etc so that should keep him happy, they couldn't destroy much AND the cafe was out of sight....

So after a morning of arguing over everything from who got what from the tiny kelloggs packets (I ALWAYS make the mistake of thinking they are a good idea) to what the score on the wii was to how rubbish Messi was (who?) on match attacks cards.....we braved our visit to W5... TBC

I am back

Well after a very turbulent 2 years, I have decided to return to writing my blog. Its not so much for people to read it but to get all the information, thoughts and funny comments out of my head as I think it may explode with the amount circling.

Update since the last blog, another baby boy Alexander Harry Boyes. He has just turned 1 so of course in true mental mother style, I have went back to work with juggling 4 kids, work and a online course. Sure why would I not run myself into the ground.....more post to follow.....

Thank you all for reading!

Thursday, 13 February 2014

Yet another 'When I was young' article....

So most parents give themselves a hard time, or at least question our actions and try to improve our parenting. I am constantly reading, watching and absorbing comments or actions of others. If I feel I have done something wrong I apologise to my kids as I would anyone else.

So last week I sat down to read a magazine, it is a current affairs magazine so I didn't expected yet another article containing those words....."When I was young". I am so very tired of these articles. In this particular letter to the editor, a man who grew up in the 1950s advised that when he was young there were no obese children, there was no junk food, today there were no children in the street playing and apparently they are all inside on their computers or watching TV.

Let us look at his points, firstly, there was no obese children. Well, there was obese children in the Victorian era and I am positive that as far as the world goes back there have been obese people and children. We get that there was a war and rations were in place but didn't children not have enough fruit & veg. Some had dietary issues with other groups and some were starving and in the grip of poverty. I am also 99% sure that if Mr X from Somerset had a big McDonalds up the street and tuppence in his hand, he would have been at that as quick as you could say cheeseburger!

Secondly, junk food. Food develops. I understand there is better access to junk food however I am sure a child of the 1920s thought sweets received or chocolate in 1950s was considered junk food or even 'devils food'. Today, we have a much better education on food, the advantages and disadvantages. Although, we have access to junk food, we are also constantly bombarded with the negative facts regarding it. After all this, if I have been working all day, my kids (who I feel have a good balanced diet however I must check with Mr X from Somerset) I just feel damned lazy as we are all expected to do everything nowadays, I decided to dive into McDonalds or Burger King, I am an adult and perfectly entitled too without a guilty conscience.

Thirdly, this is a issue we could write and write about however to keep it short. The reasons there are not many children playing in the street are simple. 1. The media feels overloaded with kidnappings, abductions, abuse or car/vehicle accidents. So much particularly abuse was covered up in history, we are now petrified of letting our kids out in case something happens! 2. Its freezing here. I know a lot of children including myself played out more.  I don't want my kids out in the UK weather all the time and we have a fantastic choice of indoor activities not available to Mr X from Somerset. Maybe he should have a wee jump in a ball is very stress relieving and much better than playing on a building site or something equally dangerous.

Last but not least, it doesn't mean that if children aren't out freezing themselves in the street that they are automatically watching TV or on playing online games etc. My children for example do a little of both however little cars, a car mat, figurines and a tea set are components of a very frequent scene in my house. If they are using the computers or watching TV, this isn't always negative, they are still learning, they are being taught the future of computers plus for children with specific learning issues this can be a godsend. I would imagine a quick go on Mario kart or a little Justin's house or some even a litte Candy Crush would chance Mr X's opinion. In the 50's Elvis was seen as a mover and shaker, music and entertainment has developed and definitely improved our children's lives.

So my message to Mr X from Somerset, how about instead of sitting back and criticising our generation of parenting or children, you help! You tell us stories of history, you teach our children games which may have died out and replaced by Tescos version of Guess Who, take the neighbours kids into the garden and show them how to make stuff instead of the constant plastic supply of toys we buy. Remember, we learn from the past so we can move forward. We need older generation help, advice & support not yet another sentence starting....It was better when we were young!

Thursday, 16 January 2014

Winter & Sickness

The wonderful winter wonderland, the open burning fire, the necessity to wear big chunky clothes and therefore your beauty regime can slide a little are all the highlights of Winter!

I see the yearly calendar drawing to a close and panic! I have three little germ carriers and of course, two are at school so it is not 6 people passing to each other but in excess of 100 other little germ carriers sending us sickness.

I remember when my son was a baby and his sneezed or coughed, I panicked, checked his temp, cuddled him and everything stopped to ensure his comfort. Given our extremely hectic lifestyle, one of the kids sneezes or coughs and I feel a fear! Fear that this cannot be happening AGAIN! They have all just getting over whatever the last infection was! Although, of course, as a mother I am a sympathetic but I am a little less empathetic. I know what will happen. One kiddie will get sick, either the others will but if we are lucky enough they don't they will, of course, inevitably demand time of school as 'he is off!!'.

The next stage in the journey will be that I will get whatever disease it is this time. As mums, because we are sleep deprived, busy, probably snacking instead of eating, our immune system has dropped since having kids. Of course, something which would have ended in 3/4 days off work, lying in bed watching Jeremy Kyle when we were young free and single now results in a cup of tea, paracetamol and a glass of wine for sleep at night. My doctor has on occasion been shocked that I have managed to keep going let alone, work, school runs etc but the sentence, you need to rest and take it easy, is not advice a busy mum needs to hear. It is just not possible!

The next issue is whether to phone the doctor. With baby one, I was probably keen to phone the doctor regularly however as you have more, you generally hear the same information time and time again. I know the exact dosage for most medicine off the shelf and how to administrator. In the UK there are so many products which are restricted to over 6 years old, we don't have many options without going to the doctor. When I was in the Middle East, there was a whole variety of medicine which included a mix of herbal and traditional medicine.

You pause and lift the phone. In a sheepish voice, I request either a call back from the doctor or an appointment. The reception answers using my first name which like the Chinese take away lady, you don't really want to happen. Mostly, now, due to experience I can tackle most issues over the phone with the doctor which is a little comforting but I still feel like the doctor sees one of our name, sighs and throws her eyes to the sky before answering my call. I get the best advice and support as always but all whilst feeling guilty.

After mountains of Calpol, Ibruofen, antibiotics if required, millions of juice cups and 200 disney films, they start to fight with each other and normality resumes! I am now just waiting for the next sneeze, cough or tummy upset!

Sunday, 11 August 2013

The summer so far....

Most comments, discussions, mummy blogs, social media activity has been bombarded with aahhhh summer holidays. For those of us in NI, our summer holidays are 9 weeks long or 63 days, 1512 hours or 90720 minutes.

At the start of July, I was ready to pull my hair out with the prospect of this terrifying time but its hasn't been as manic as I thought.

I do admit that squeezing business meetings into mornings or afternoons, swapping flats and heels to dive from the office to the park has been a little tiring. Or the handing over £40 odd quid in one indoor activity per week has kind of made my eyes water. And I suppose that staying up late partly because it is light outside and partly in the blind hope that they will stay asleep past 6:30am has had its moments of crisis. Ok, I am lying its been CRAZY. I forgot everything, I put the tea bags in the fridge, I have nearly put moisturiser on my toothbrush and went to a business meeting in slippers then had a moment of horror when I thought I had lost the other high heel in my car.....I hadn't but I was late.

Though, I did have a number of reality checks when I realised that the weather has been good, I have had loads of help with the kids, I am not living in a 3rd world countries and this gripes those ladies or men would love to have rather than no food, clean water, democratic hell etc. I sat myself down, had a word with myself, smiled, realised that I have three gorgeous kids, a great husband, fab family & friends and core business people which I enjoy working with. Life is good, manic but good.......

Sunday, 12 May 2013

A week of realisation.....

So as I have referenced in an earlier blog I know I am 32 but in my head I am about mid-20s some of the time.

I started out the week with a bank holiday weekend with hubby away! This resulted in a furniture re-arrangement to give me a new 'project' and organising my sons 5th birthday party. Of course, he had to pick a Ben 10 theme because to pick a mainstream party character like spiderman which is in EVERY supermarket would just not be in my life! Ebay is was....

I got 'free' on Tuesday to go to work! I was so excited to have a coffee I could finish while warm and drive without fighting or moaning behind me. Was nice after 3 days of 'kiddies' things. I donned my sunglasses, had my high heels and suit on, feeling very hip & business like. I go onto the motorway and put on 'scream & shout', it was so nice to feel energised. I was dancing in the car and enjoying myself then I was driving alongside a van driver, I was all 'get me, all dolled up, trendy music...woohoo' then something happened, my mind decided to play tricks on me and I suddenly saw myself through his eyes. He saw an obviously 30 something, in a 7 seater mummy wagon aka people carrier with 3 car seats, a buggy, full of toys, half lollies and baby wipes all over the seats, dancing to a song which teenagers listen to. I looked like a wally!

Wednesday, I decided to put on my new coloured super skinny jeans..... they were fine until I got to buttoning them....after 3 babies, 2 c sections, I decided to take them back off very quickly! It was not a good look. By Thursday, I had started to wear flats to work as 2 whole days of heels wasn't good for me.

Friday came. Only last few hours before hubby was home and the misery oh sorry joy of a 5yr old birthday party loomed. I was on my way to a meeting. At my meeting, I was greeted with my 'client' (who is a friend) holding an envelope & magazines. My hubby and my cousin with help of family friends and even my accountant had organised to cancel all my appointments, book me a surprise massage, all the kids were being collected from school.....I was flabbergasted! It was incredible.

Knowing me so well, I got home. My laptop had been 'stolen' so I couldn't work, the house had been cleaned and tidied, there was chocolates, wine & lunch ready for me therefore I had no option but to watching telly and do nothing more!!

I immediately reached for my PJs poured myself a glass & chose Moulin Rouge to fall asleep to on the sofa too. It was pure bliss. My kids on arriving home, woke me up, I saw myself in the mirror, with 'bed' hair, un-matching PJs/dressing gown who was dying for a wee cup of tea.My mind had aged 10 years in a week. I was warm, comfy & wants a big mug of Nambarrie and I was really ok with being 32!!